This is a hard blog post for me to write and I think I have been avoiding it. As if 2020 wasn’t challenging enough with all of the things that happened, adding losing my grandmother to the mix made it that much worse. 2020 will forever be the year that took my grandmother from me.
My grandma passed away in August a week after my birthday and needless to say it has been an emotional roller coaster since then. She was such an amazing woman and I am who I am today partly because of her.
This will be my first Christmas without her and so far it has been pretty weird. I am still processing her passing and it’s still fresh so I don’t know what to say. The holidays were so special with my grandmother. I have so many memories of spending time with her in the kitchen baking and cooking meals. We would always go shopping on Christmas Eve and wrap gifts together that night. I think that is what I will miss the most, just sitting in her room on the floor talking and wrapping presents. The wisdom was priceless and the time was so precious, and I will cherish it for the rest of my life.
My grandmother was the epitome of love and warmth and you always felt seen when you were in her presence. She didn’t have much, but what she did have she gave it to you without ever expecting anything in return. My grandmother was truly an angel walking on earth and I don’t know if the holidays will ever be the same without her. I will definitely do the best I can to keep her spirit alive and pray that I can be just a third of the woman she was. I hope she is proud of me in heaven and not up there telling me stop all this crying. Lol!
The holiday season is difficult when you have lost a loved one, especially when it’s new. I am trusting God to heal the brokenness and pain that I feel and pray that He will see me through to the other side of this grief. If you are experiencing loss this Christmas please accept my prayers for you and your family.